Wednesday, April 28, 2010
a pop-up toy
remember those little toys we used to give our kids in their easter basket or christmas stocking...those little toys you press down and...wait...and wait...and wait....till they POP UP. well today, i feel like one of those toys....like i've been pressed down and am just waiting to pop up. it's unsettling to want to get busy on so many projects i'm motivated (really, i am!) to work on....but then i find another....and then i find this thing that goes with that one and then i remember this and before you know it i have the workings of waaaay too many things spread out all over. and then i think, "well i should organize this", so i pull out the trusty clear tubs to try....(sigh)...try to organize it all.....and that just doesn't happen.....so back to the original project, which i've lost so much time on, doing all the other stuff. and then i think "i need to focus"...but really quick, let me just go down to the little house and dig up a few of my iris that i want to keep before someone buys my land. and, quite possibly...therein lies the root of my unsettledness (if that's a word). they haven't. nobody has bought my land. and i'm really really bummed about that....i'm talking seriously bummed. i want so badly to sell that land. there has been interest. there have been offers. i have been willing to negotiate...and still am more than willing. i have come sooooo close. but nothing. yet. i have plans for the "after i sell the land" phase of my life. i am ready. now. this waiting is for the birds. i am not a patient person. maybe that's why i feel so unsettled. maybe that's why i am having difficulty accomplishing anything else...because i. am. so. ready. change does not come easily for me. i must be psychologically ready, and that takes time. but i am ready. now. and i can't do anything....yep...until the land sells. i suppose i need to find a different focus for a bit....take the spotlight off that area for a while and open the door to something else. maybe that will help things to settle a bit. mom used to tell me "don't put all your eggs in one basket." but i need that land to sell. soon. for a whole basketful of reasons.