Friday, August 20, 2010

things that make me say "ahhhh"

it's a good morning here in my little corner of the world. it's been raining off and on for a few days, so these peeks at the sun and little patches of blue sky are most welcome.
nothing particular has happened to make this one morning any better than others, i don't think....perhaps it's just that i have acquired an appreciation of some things......and sometimes it just makes me sit back and say "aaahhh." yesterday, as well as for two days this past weekend, i spent time in the mountains. my most favorite spot. i've learned that it doesn't really matter which mountains i am in, i still love it. i walked the streets of several little "wide spots in the road"..which i must say, are my favorite places. i love the cities, but the little towns hold so much more charm...more personality. i found wonderful little shops, traveled narrow roads that wound back into wonderful little hidey places. and i dreamed. oh how i dreamed. i went to places familiar...and some, not so...i watched the creeks...and i listened...and i breathed...and i made wish upon wish upon wish. around my neck hung the words "be here"...and for a glorious while, i was. and, i determined, i will be again. an Ah-Ha moment? no...just an "aahhhh" moment.
last night it was dripping and on showers...and warm, so i sat out on the porch for a bit after dark. i wanted to do some thinking...some praying...some quiet, without the electrical distractions that my husband insists must be on. so anyway, i heard the owl again as i was sitting there. it visits quite often lately. sometimes i hear another owl in the distance, answering, but last night there was just the one. and in the times when it was quiet, no cars were passing by, and it was just me out there listening to the owl, i loved it. i could close my eyes and, as i often do, imagine being on the porch of a cabin deep in the woods, on a mountain hillside. i could almost hear the water rolling over the rocks in the creek that lives in my mind. as it happens, i had a terrible headache last night the likes of which i have not experienced in a i sat, just breathing in and out slowly...and stretching...and listening. and in a bit i smiled, took a deep breath and out it came..the inevitable "aaahhhh".
this morning, as the sun warmed everything, i sat again...same place....but this time i watched the hummingbirds jockeying for position at the feeder. i watched the redbud blooms dance in the breeze, and the bees try to catch them. i saw the sun playing peek-a-boo between the clouds. i rocked slowly in the chair...and as i leaned back, out it came...."aahhh".
perhaps, as i wrote not so very long ago, that is my "cathartic purge of the growl" "aaahh"...perhaps as i open myself to the simple beauty of this good earth and physically put myself in that place, breathing in all the goodness that is there, i can conquer the growl. i can separate myself from the things that cause the growl to rise...and find where i am...not hidden, but strong and gaining strength every day. it wil be easy to find me...i will be where the good things are.

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