Wednesday, December 1, 2010

December...?!

hello to you on this first day of december. what happened to november...and october...and september...? i am amazed at how quickly this year has flown past. it is difficult to believe this year is drawing to a close....i haven't even gotten used to writing the year 2010 yet, here it is almost 2011. there were so many things i wanted to accomplish in this year that have not happened. for that, i am a bit sad...somewhat disappointed. i suppose the biggest thing i'm disappointed about is that i haven't sold my house and land yet. it was my dream to have that little cabin in the mountains in time to see the snow fall....in time to light a fire in the fireplace on cold nights...in time for christmas. but that didn't happen. and in the general scheme of things...so what? just because it didn't happen according to my timeline doesn't mean it won't happen...in reality it means something much more important...something i've learned during the past year. wait. wait patiently. keep dreaming, keep working toward the goal...but be willing to wait knowing that when that dream does come true it will be worth waiting for...it will be so much more satisfying and equally enjoyable. wait, knowing that good things really do come to those who wait. wait, knowing that things happen in exactly the order and time that they are supposed to. wait, knowing that it will still happen. just. wait. this has been a very important lesson to learn this year.
it has been an eventful year...and i must say even with a disappointment or two thrown in here and there, it has been a good year. my father spent time in the hospital earlier this year and for a few days it was horrendous, but he did ok and is back home doing all the things he did before. my son got to fly in an airplane this year for the first time....on a trip to seattle...to places he'd never seen before. my daughter had a beautiful baby girl this past summer...bayly grace...who has the biggest, bluest, most beautiful eyes in the whole world...who smiles when she sees me. mason, my 3 year old grandson, has begun to call to tell me goodnight ..."g'night grammy" he says..."i luh you"....and that one thing makes the entire day good, no matter if it really has been or not. i sold some of my arts and crafts this year....i actually did. and it was good to make some money doing something i love. it was good to hear supportive and uplifting comments; to have someone who didn't even know me call me an artist. me. i still can't get over that...it makes me smile. i was able to purchase beautiful pieces of jewelry from a dear friend, and she in turn went on the trip of a lifetime...it felt so good to help, but it also grounds me, when i hang "hope" or "fly" or "be here" around my neck and remember that i can...i can hope, or fly...i can be here..or there...or somewhere. i have learned a lot about myself this year. much more than i can write here. but i can tell you this...the things i have learned are serving me well and will for times to come. the things i have learned...about truth and hope, strength and patience and determination are all things that, when i sit sipping tea in the midst of the madness on one of "those days" i can actually feel growing in my soul. it reminds me that i am good. that i am strong and able. i look at this past year and i know, without a doubt, that this month of december will be challenging...will be a time of change...and i know, equally well, that it will be just fine. that i will be just fine. it is the beginning of december. christmas is coming. all the fun things, all the secrets, the music, the baking, the remembering of why december is such a magical time...the hope of snow...all these things to look forward to in just this one quick month...i welcome it. i welcome you, december.

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