Monday, September 10, 2012

box? what box?

i know. it's been over a month since i last posted...not that anyone's keeping track, but i had hoped to do better than that. it's been a very......well, i suppose the best word is....interesting...month. many things have transpired, but for now i will focus on one part. i would have to go back and tell you stories from years past, experiences only known to some, in order for you to truly appreciate what the past month and it's changes have been like. some days, i was literally left with my mouth gaping because of events that happened in "just so" order at the perfectly appointed time. there were days when, on the verge of giving up on myself, my work and everything else, i would receive a message...or an opportunity would present itself...that proved to me, not that i ever wondered...that divine providence is very real. that prayers are heard and answered....and that there is within me a very large, very loud "fear" monster that spouts all sorts of negative things into the far corners of my being. wonder of wonders...i have managed, so far, to plow right through every layer of fear that has tried to wrap itself around me. i talk to it as if i am looking at it face to face. "you know what? i'm going to do it anyway!"    "if i say no, will there ever be another chance for me to say yes?"   "why in the world would i NOT jump at this?" 
i have determined that fear has held me back for the. very. last. time. my daughter said it well..."mom, what's the worst that can happen?" and what i keep telling myself is this: "i am not cutting off a body part. this is only permanent if it's successful and if i choose for it to be. i am merely trying a new adventure for a while."
i don't believe in chance meetings. i believe that everything happens for a reason. so a few months ago, in a very roundabout manner, i met an extremely creative lady who has a pottery studio at her home. we talked, i told her about my work, i spent a length of time in deep envy of her workspace, we bounced a few ideas around...and then i went home.  end of story?  hardly. 
a few weeks ago, out of the clear blue and totally unsolicited, i received a message from her. she is planning to open a store in a nearby town. she wanted some pics of my work. i sent them. she liked them...a lot. "they are unique, and that's good," she says.  she wanted to know my price range. she thinks it's very reasonable. would i be interested in a space where i could sell my lovelies at the new store? how big a space would i like? would i be interested in teaching at the new store? there will be artists, crafts people, antiques, online sales...
and at about this point is where i begin to wonder if i've bitten off waaaay more than i can chew. i'm so far outside the box, so far from my comfort zone i'm in another zip code!  i went to those i trust for guidance....and of course their response is "go for it!"   there are so many "little things" that come together with this opportunity, it's like puzzle pieces falling into place...hints and clues that yes, maybe this is the time....just what i've been waiting for...hoping for. for example, consider these stories:
years ago, i was obsessed with pigs. i collected them, everyone i knew gave me pigs in every way, shape and form as gifts. i had pig slippers, pig dishtowels, pig jewelry, pig Christmas ornaments...even pig salt and pepper shakers. it was...just something that was uniquely "me."
in 2007 my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. she fought hard for 18 months before it took her...and we all fought with her. during that time and since, my sister, daughter and i all wore pins with the purple ribbon...the color for pancreatic cancer....thus, every time we see purple, that's what we think of. and i know without question that my mother's spirit is always, always with me.  now....
the name of the new store?    the purple pig emporium
someone told me the name alone indicated it was "meant to be". perhaps i'm making too much of it. but...what if i'm not?  i think i might like to travel down this path for a while....i may just decide i like the scenery.

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