Tuesday, September 30, 2014

it would be nice

so, here it is. the last day of September. I blinked again and another month was gone. I had so hoped to be able to say I'd found my new place to land....the place where my roots could begin to grow again. but not so. I've looked at so many places. each one a little different than the last, each one a little closer to "feeling right" and being "the one"....but not yet. it's a lesson in patience, that's for sure and for certain! I don't wait well. I think I've said this before. I don't wait well at all. but in all honesty I have to say this exercise in patience is teaching me things about myself. I've never, not one day, lived in an apartment, townhouse or condo. why in the world would I think that's what I want to do now? I want my grands to be able to go out and play in my yard...MY yard.....and not worry that they're making too much noise. I want a little space for a garden. I've found that I was thinking too much about my "later years" and what would be better for me then instead of the "from now til then" years...the right now....and what is best for me now. the living part....the part where what I've hoped for may finally be able to happen. I've learned I don't want to skip over that part of living and go straight to the "later" part. god willing, I have a lot of good left...and a lot of years. I want a place where I can go to LIVE....not a place where I can go to wait to die. that's what it all boils down to....the living. so i'm still looking for that place. that place where i can go to begin my living again.
today i'm sitting by the window, working on lovelies for a craft show this weekend. it's the biggest one I've ever been a part of....the first I've done for an entire weekend....and the first I've done outside this local area.  I've rented a little cabin in the woods back in the mountains of Virginia where there is no television and I am so looking forward to it! it's been a long time coming, this. one more step into the living.

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