Monday, November 30, 2009

The deep end of the pool

I found an interesting thought today.
"The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang the best. Do not wait; the time will never be "just right". Start where you are, work with whatever is at your command and better tools will be found as you go along." I don't know who the author is.
There are several reasons why this appeals to me...why it speaks to me all the way to the core. I don't always say the things that need to be said. I admire those who give voice to their dreams..who unashamedly put themselves and their work out into the world...who move forward without showing fear. All I need to do is type the words and send them...all I have to do is take a picture and send it...all I must do is open my mouth and say..."This is me. This is what I do. This is what I enjoy. This is what I believe." But I fear....I think I am like the bird who is quiet because so many others sing best...I want something so very badly, but I fear...that first step. The comments. The rejection. The indifference. That I may be left with every single piece of every single thing I started with. That the resident naysayer will gloat incessantly. It is fear that makes one hold back...nothing more. Fear of what?...of who? What is it that I think will be worse instead of better once I open the door? "Baby steps...just little baby at a time" I repeat. "You can" I whisper. Breathe..slow and deep. Close your eyes. Someone, somewhere will like this. I am in such unfamiliar waters and guess what? I can't swim. Really, truly, in real life...I can not swim. That first step..the one that puts me in water waaaay over my head...I am standing on the edge, looking at the water and everyone in the pool is having a grand old time. So just exactly what in the world am I doing, trying to convince myself that I can jump in and have a grand old time, too? "Just do it" I say through clenched teeth. So. Jump in.
Maybe...just maybe this little bird can join in the singing...maybe, just maybe she'll float. We'll see. Oh yessss indeedy...we shall definitely see.

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