Friday, November 20, 2009
some days i feel like doing things "appropriately"...like correct capitalization and punctuation....and other days i just want to let what's in my brain flow out from my fingers without worry of "being correct." it's that ADD stuff..you know...it takes too much time and doesn't change the meaning at all. today is one of those flowing kind of days. seems strange, with me having been a teacher for ions, but...change happens. today is an absolutely beautiful day...blue sky, sunny, ideal temps...the kind of day that is perfectly scrumptious after days and days of fog and rain and grayness. standing in the sun with my eyes closed, hot vanilla chai tea warming my hands while the sun warmed me through and through, was a most welcome retreat from the cold gray of past days...and a last stand before it returns. i wish i could store that warmth, that light, somewhere inside me...for the gray days of winter. i would pull it out and sit in it for a bit each day when the skies outside were gray and cold. i suppose this is the beginning of the shift toward winter, this ending of fall. the leaves are almost gone. with each breeze i see them flying, revealing the bare bones of the tree with nothing to shelter it from the winds and harshness of the coming winter. i used to explain the trees' dormant state as like the bear who hibernates. it doesn't need much food in the winter...it's just sleeping. and then in spring, when it wakes up, the leaves will be back. a lot of folks don't exactly look forward to winter...i didn't for a long time. back in the days of having to get up and go to work at 0-dark-thirty when the sun hadn't warmed one single thing and i knew i had a car that wasn't lucky enough to live in a garage and i had bus duty outside every single day...nope, i did not look forward to winter then. ahh, but now...i. love. it. the idea of having snow excites me to this day just as it did as a child. knowing that when the cold winds blow outside, i can be inside by the fireplace reading or working on my crafts....that i can stay in my soft, warm flannels and fuzzy slippers as long as i want...knowing it's ok to just sit with that extra cup of coffee and watch winter settle in.....that, my friends, makes it easy to take a couple of slow deep breaths and smile. this shift from fall toward winter....mmmm hhmmmmm. soaking in what's left, looking forward to what's coming....enjoying what is.