Friday, March 19, 2010

in the blink of an eye

what am i feeling today, you ask? thankful, in a nutshell.
you know how one minute you think you've got it all under control, everything's falling into place and life is sweet and smooth with no speed bumps, then it happens. in the blink of an eye, that one thing that throws e v e r y t h i n g and e v e r y o n e into a tailspin? well....that pretty much sums up my last 2 weeks. there i was, getting ready to go to seattle for a week, happy as a clam to see family and visit great places. all was packed, new clothes, new books, shopping list for shipwreck beads.....i'm's saturday and the phone rings. never a good thing at 6:45 a.m., especially when i see the number is my dad's. and from then on, it was katie-bar-the-door for about 4 days. how sick he really is, call 911. to emergency we go, just 4 hours before the flight to seattle. dad is admitted to ICU, the next day is a big ugly blur with blood pressure scares (54/37...yikes is an understatement).....dehydration. food poisoning? maybe, but the tear in his esophagus was the bigger concern as it was causing bleeding inside. living will? family contact info? "don't leave the building" they said to me. i call my brother and sister...oregon and maine...very far daughter and son-in-law are on the husband and son are on the plane to seattle. my mind is not used to going this fast and i'm standing there in the hall by. myself. remembering. remembering when mom was here...when she was so sick...and it wasn't so long ago...when i had someone with me. and then i see my daughter and i walk to her and i remember crying and saying "i can't do this again". and we pray and others pray and my sister comes from maine. and then...thankfully....he turns the corner and starts to improve. slowly, but i'll take that. in the short span of a few hours, he goes from almost not here to sitting up in bed joking and asking for something to drink. so much better.....sooooo much better. so, i think, maybe i can go to seattle in a day or so after all. not so fast....again, in the blink of an eye...i wake up monday morning at 3 a.m.....sick sick sick.....oh so sick. and for 3 long days i stay in bed, nothing but gatorade...sleep...fever....thankful my sister is here to take care of dad...and now, me. "seattle?" you ask. not this time. apparently it wasn't meant to be. what did i want from the trip had i gone? i would've wanted my son to see and experience things he's never seen or done before. he did. mission accomplished there. i would've wanted my husband to see and spend time with his son, home from afghanistan for r & r. he did. mission accomplished there as well. so....i suppose in the overall picture, the two most important things were able to happen. i didn't have to be there....i can always go to seattle. but i am oh so very thankful anyway. in the blink of an eye it all changed. life is so unpredictable. so very precious. so funny that way. and now? son and husband have great memories of a wonderful trip. dad is healthy again...or at least well on the way. i got to spend some time with my sister....all because something happened in the blink of an eye. go figure.

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