Monday, January 9, 2012

dreaming

i was running this scenario through my head....if i did have a house back in the hills, and the day was foggy and cool and rainy like today, would i be happy in that situation, knowing i had a pot of beans and a pot of greens bubbling on the stove...knowing i had a room full of craft projects to work on and stacks of books to read...knowing all i had to do was go outside to take a deep breath of cool mountain air and listen to a stream slide over rocks down the mountain....knowing that my life itself was one big answered prayer? would i really be happy? i know i don't really have to wonder. i know that answer...have known it with every fiber that is in me for a while. but every so often, as if in training, i make a conscious decision to "be there" for a couple of days...to make do with what i have on hand, since perhaps the store would be an hourlong trip, and no, it really isn't absolutely necessary to have fresh lemon with my tea or banana on my cereal. i make myself do without. i talk myself out of convenience-style trips and items. and today, in particular, with the fog and cool and rain, i am so very content to have that pot of beans bubbling, the pot of greens simmering, the fireplace going and the supplies to keep my hands busy strewn about my worktable. i worry about nothing because i know that here, right here, it is ok. and right now, i'm really hoping no one plans to call the men in the white coats with the ties in the back....i'm fine....just dreaming. the only thing better? well of course, if the rain were snow!
and a comforting conclusion that perhaps only i would understand....yes, i do believe i could do that....because i am very comfortable in my skin. i like being with me...well, and sophie and jake, my cat and dog. i like the quiet, and the feeling that in my little world, all is well. yes, i do believe i could do that. hopefully, we shall see.

1 comment:

  1. Of course you can... because all of this is inside of you and, as the old saying goes,
    "The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there."

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