Wednesday, April 18, 2012

full circle

today, with possibilities and quandries and changes in direction looming, this part of my history has come to mind. some of you may know i have long had a dream of having a little place in the mountains....but what you may not know is this...that at one time, i had it.....and then i had to let it go.
in 1991, after going through an ugly divorce and what seemed to be unending court proceedings, i became the sole owner of a piece of property in the virginia mountains. it was a beautiful little place....there was a creek, a knoll on which we..then i...had planned to put a little cabin. there were butternut trees...only one other house in sight, down the hill, at the end of a huge was so peaceful and i loved it. at that very...VERY exact same time that i finally owned a little mountain place, the house i was renting here with my children went up for sale and i was faced with yet another move. i could have continued to rent another house somewhere, but i felt very strongly that my children and i needed something more solid...more deeply rooted...more i chose to investigate the option of buying a home. being a single mom of two, a teacher and with some other issues, it became apparent that there was only one way i was going to be able to afford what my children...and i, at the time...needed. it was really a no-brainer...i had to sell the mountain place. i had to have that money to make a down payment on our home...the one for me and my children. i had to let go of the dream....for a while. i had to re-focus on what was needed at the moment...what was best for us to survive. dreams were packed up and put away. days moved into months that moved into years. the children grew up and went to find their own way. now, i'm unpacking the boxes that have held those dreams for so long and they are coming back with such a vengence and flood that i feel at times overwhelmed with their power. it has come full, to have the little mountain place, i must sell my home here in order to have the down payment. i packed it up and put that dream away in order to do what i had to do...and now, i can unpack it. we sacrifice so much, we think at the time, to do what we must, to do what is necessary. i've learned that the answer wasn't "no" was "wait". perhaps that will be my reward, that unpacking of the dream, to watch it grow into fruition. i suppose time will tell. there is always that chance, always that may be coming full circle, after all.

1 comment:

  1. I hope so Tina, I hope that your life comes "full circle" and life gives you something back.