so much

fall is a time of change. seasonal, certainly, with the cooler temperatures, clear skies without the hot haze of summer, leaves just beginning to hint at color around the edges, pumpkins with their bright oranges at the produce stands. but this fall there are more changes than just the normal seasonal ones.
there's this...yesterday was my grandson mason's 5th birthday. i am amazed at how those few years have flown. i remember the day he was born in detail. it was one of the happiest of days. i love that little guy to the moon and back a million times. he is so full of energy and joy. he is learning so fast. last night we went shopping for new shoes. such decisions. should i get the ones that light up or ones that tie so i can learn to tie my own shoes, grammy? and of course, we found none that both tie AND light up (go figure!)...so he chose the ones that tie. and he spent a large part of the rest of the evening running....because he needed to show me how fast he could go in his new shoes. :) oh, the simple joys of being 5.
and this....i am, in less than 2 short weeks, going to have a little corner of the world in which to display and sell my lovelies. there's a new store opening in lexington, nc....about 45 min. from me. it will be an oh-so-very-cool kind of place with handmades, art, vintage, antiques...i will have a spot in that place, thanks to one who believed, who opened a door for me...and i wasn't afraid to walk through and claim what was on the other side.  it is official....my name is on the dotted line, the rent is paid and i have begun taking furniture...handmade by my cousin from old and repurposed pieces..to use to display my lovelies. it is very much a cooperative effort, with ideas bouncing around, encouragement each step of the way....a very happy place. and i'm not just talking now about the store...i'm speaking of where i am. so much has changed to bring me to this place. i feel comfortable with me. it feels right to be around folks who are open to your ideas and feel comfortable sharing theirs with you. it feels good to be supported....encouraged...complimented. it makes me feel strength in who i am and what i am doing. it has planted a seed of confidence that was sorely lacking and now is beginning to slowly grow after such a long time. i can take a deep breath now. and not only do i have the store opening soon, i am still doing shows on the weekend. 'tis the season...fall, then christmas....so much going on, but all good. this is a time of growth for me. a time of regaining strength...of believing in myself. a time of standing up for myself in confidence.  there are some...one, perhaps, in particular, who seem more than a bit uncomfortable with this new development. it's almost as if a dark cloud has formed over them. perhaps it is the unknown which has them disconcerted. perhaps it is the independence i have shown in moving forward for myself. perhaps it is the fact they have been unable to assert their control over the situation. perhaps it is simply in the fact that i did exactly what i said i was going to do. odd, that thought...because i think that's exactly where i began to feel strong. i've never been one to consistently follow through on what i say i am going to do. i must say, it feels good...very, very good.