yesterday

yesterday was one of those glorious days....one that you hope for and imagine in your mind but wonder if it will ever really happen. after hearing all the questions for so long...the "why did you's" and the "why don't you's" and the "what will you do if's"....and wondering if maybe...maybe i should pull back and  maybe i should hide my self and maybe my work really isn't that good after all and maybe i shouldn't talk about it so much....after all that...then...there was yesterday.
the day the store opened. after working for weeks on lovelies, after setting up and no, that's not right, let's try this and i have a little table that will work perfectly in that spot...and an entire day of tagging and pricing which was totally agonizing, as i detest putting prices on things i've made.....after all that....it was done. finished. set up. and if i do say so myself, it looked pretty cute. i walked around and looked at the other booths, expecting to want to throw a sheet over mine and say no, never mind, this is not good enough. but you know what? i didn't say that. i surprised myself. my little corner of the world looked good. it was good enough. of course the other vendors had good things to say about my space...and my lovelies. the owner of the store, a friend of mine, said such nice, encouraging things. but they were supposed to say those things...i thought. after all, there are so many cool things there...so many talented people with awesome spaces. and then....
the store opened. yesterday. i hoped to just fly in to this whole retail experience under the radar without finding myself splat upon someone's windshield at the end of the day. apparently, what they told me was right. apparently, i did underestimate myself. for at the end of the day a lady came in who loved...loved...my work. she loved it so much she purchased enough that i nearly made next month's rent on the very first day we were open.
can you imagine? i'm told she kept going back for "one more"...and that she did a large portion of her Christmas shopping...there. in my spot, my little corner of the world....wanting my lovelies. i tell you these things not because i want to puff myself up or boast...no, not at all. but because it amazes me... for so long i have heard the would not, could not, should not's...have heard all the negative "what if's" spouted til i had begun to believe it myself in little spaces of me....and yesterday, it happened before my very eyes....it happened that i can. that what i do is good...and lovely...and i don't have to be the only one who believes that anymore...ever. just imagine.