Monday, October 20, 2014

the waiting

so.... I've made an offer on a house. yay me! it is a short sale....which means there is, truly, nothing short about it. just that the bank is calling the shots instead of the homeowner. and it means waiting. they are in no hurry, that bank, to move toward making a decision on whether or not to accept my offer.
I wonder if they know......
that I am, quite literally, sitting in my living room totally and completely surrounded by mountains of boxes and furniture and plastic tubs. waiting.
I wonder if they know....
that my entire studio, save for a precious few things I've pulled out to work on, is in boxes and bags and tubs and containers.....seriously limiting the amount and type of work I can do. because......i'm waiting.
I wonder if they know.....
how utterly and completely, through to the bone ready I am to begin this new chapter. to have a clean slate with which to work....and in which to begin again and grow.
I wonder if they know....
how much I totally detest this.....waiting.
because getting to this point of being ready is a monumental thing. it has taken an effort of unimaginable proportions to psychologically and emotionally prepare myself for such change in my life. and now that I've done it......
i'm waiting.
it is the oddest thing...this business of packing up lock, stock and barrel, preparing to move....and not knowing where i'm moving to....just secure in the knowledge that, yes, to be sure, I am moving.
and quite frankly....the sooner the better. for I am also, to be sure, quite tired of......
the waiting.

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